5 years ago today.....

I woke up in the morning and I thought I was peeing the bed. I yelled for my mom and I said I'm either peeing the bed or my water just broke. Sure enough my water broke. My baby wasnt due for another 3 days but I sure was glad she was coming early. Pregnancy was never nice to me. And this pregnancy I thought was the worst so far (until Layla). I called the father, Josh, and he came over and walked with me around the block to try and get some contractions going. When we got to the hospital I was dilated to a 4. My mom, dad, Josh and my best friend Melissa were all there to support me. Josh and I walked around the maternity floor to see if we could keep the dialtating going. I got in the tub for a bit as well. They checked me and I was still a 4. So they had to give me some pitocin and an epidural. almost 11 hours into labor it was time to push. It took about 45mins to push her out. She decided to put her hand up by her head has she came out so that was not easy to push out. They laid her on my chest but she wasnt crying or breathing. It scared me for a bit they had to take her away and got her to cry.



She was a huge baby. She was named Taryn J. She weighed 9lbs 14oz and 21in long. Newborn diapers didnt fit her very well. I tried to nurse her and she kept falling asleep. We had a wonderful stay in the hospital and we had many visitors. Then our last day together came. Her soon to be family came to see her. They even brought along my birth son Kendrick, who didnt really know what to think the whole time so he just pretend to sleep. We had a great but emotional visit. Exchanging gifts and the adoptive mom sang a song to us, "The One and Only You" by Micheal McLean. Click here to hear the song http://www.imeem.com/stompeed/music/l49bsbn0/michael-mclean-one-and-only-you/ then we held Taryn together as we listened to "From Gods Arms To My Arms to Yours" http://www.imeem.com/people/pUuVyyR/music/Blyarwzm/michael-mclean-from-gods-arms-to-my-arms-to-yours/


It is very hard thing to give your newborn to another and to be able to trust them completely to take care of them and love them the way you wanted to. But it isnt as hard when you love that other person like they were your own family. I felt so much peace as I handed her off to her new family. The next couple months were hard missing her and trying to get my life back to normal. But it was wonderful knowing she was with her brother Kendrick and with a wonderful family.



I have been looking at her baby book today and cant harldy believe its been 5 years. She has grown up so fast. And I have been able to watch her grow, thanks to her wonderful family.
I love you Taryn! Happy 5th birthday!